Cambodia

Disclaimer: My trip to Cambodia happened about a year and a half ago so again, because I'm writing this so late the details are a bit foggy.

Our journey to Cambodia made for the longest travel day I think I've ever had.  It was not long simply because of time, though time did play a part.  We received three death threats along the way from Bangkok to Siem Reap.  It was scary at times and emotionally exhausting.  I was grateful not to be alone.  In the end all turned out ok and we arrived to Seim Reap in one piece.  And as a bonus we picked up another traveler named Tonh (pronounced like Tawn... which is also what many people call me... So at this point we had two Tonh/Tawn's, identical twins, and a Ben).

The following day we decided to rent bikes and make our way out to Angkor Wat for sunset.  With a general direction of where to go we set out.  Since none of us researched exactly how to get to Angkor Wat it's no surprise that we didn't actually make it there.  (Side note: I've had some pretty cool adventures born from misadventures and this was one of the best.)  We did make it to another set of ruins where we took in the setting sun before peddling home through the jungle in the dark stopping off at a Cambodian market along the way (a real Cambodian market... one full of Cambodians instead of tourists, in fact we were the only foreigners there).  There are no words to express what I felt in the moments of this evening or the following day.  I remember it with such clarity.  One of my favorite quotes is from "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky... "And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."  Infinity is my drug.  It is my high and the reason I love traveling.  Moments of infinity find me randomly and more often when I travel.  When I'm standing at the bow of a boat watching the bioluminescent plankton light up the ocean as though it were a reflection of the night sky.  When I'm having an unexpected conversation with a strange turned friend at a burn.  While I'm watching hundreds of lanterns float peacefully away into the night sky.  I've tried to find these moments and I've also tried to create them with the end result being only an empty fabrication.  These moments find me and when they come I ride the high as long as I can. I enjoy every second and memorize every detail committing it memory in hopes of immortalizing this single moment which will only live on infinitely, but only in my mind.  Ben led the five of us playing his harmonica and I held up the rear as we peddled our  way through the jungle at night unaware of the ruins all around us, it was magic, it was my infinity.  

Making friends with some local kids on a break
during our bus ride from Bangkok to Siem Reap

Ben doing the same

Ben, Tonh, Seamus

Arriving just in time for sunset... no idea where
exactly we arrived, but we arrive we did

Sunset over ruins

The view looking out from the ruins

The market we stumbled upon

Old school electricity

We stayed up the entire night with the exception of a brief nap then hopped back on our bikes to find Angkor Wat for sunrise.  This time it was easy to find Angkor Wat considering there were about 1,000 other people on the same mission.  Upon our arrival we wandered around hoping to go inside before the hoards of other tourists made their way in.  We came upon a sign at the entrance that said something to the effect of "you shall not pass" so of course we took this as an invitation to take a private tour.  We were in Angkor Wat just before sunrise and almost completely alone.  I think I saw two or three other people wandering around as we were, but that's it.  It was so peaceful in the predawn light.  We made our way around then back out to the front just before sunrise aaaannnnnd as the sun rose over Angkor Wat I was soundly asleep, curled in a ball using stone as my pillow.  Aidan woke me up at one point so I didn't miss it all, but there wasn't much of a sight to see as I recall the sunrise leaving something to be desired. The rest of the day we pushed around on our bikes looking at ruin after ruin after ruin in a state of sleep deprived delirium.  It was an amazing 24 hours.  One for my record books.

Morning at Angkor Wat

Ben sketching the crowd waiting for the sunrise

Three of the coolest dudes I know... Seamus, Ben, and Aidan...
or is it Aidan, Ben, and Seamus...

Just taking a little cat nap

Seamus, Ben, Aidan, Tonh, me, and Marie

I met Nisha in Northern Thailand and
we ran into each other at Angkor Wat

Inside Angkor Wat

Some of the trees growing on the
ruins were HUGE! You can see the
man standing next to it in the
picture for a size comparison.

Photo credit: Ben

These trees were nuts!  I couldn't get
over how big  some of them are!

Love these signs

No guarantees with this one

After a few days in Siem Reap it was time to make our way south.  We spent a single day in Phnom Phen.  Here we did one thing, visit the killing fields.  One of the best travel days I had was followed by one of the most disturbingly depressing days.  With a name like "the killing fields" you know you're not in for a good time, but what I learned I was not prepared for.  No history book I've ever read has mentioned the genocide which occurred in Cambodia in the 1970's so this was all new to me and very difficult to process.  I took photos, but have not included any on this blog.  To do so for me feels like I'd be displaying the remains of humans who were slaughtered simply to document an experience I had, like checking something off the bucket list.  It was horrifying to hear the stories of what happened to these people.  To realize the "rocks" sticking out of the ground were actually human remains making their way to surface after 40 years.  Or the pieces of tattered fabric were actually the clothing someone was wearing as they were murdered and buried in a mass grave without a second thought.  I did not put all these pieces together at once, but when these realizations made their way into my mind I was overcome with heartache.  

An elephant for a car

After Phnom Phen we set out sights to the beach for some down time.  In a few days we managed to see Rabbit Island, Kep, Sihanoukville, Koh Rong, and Koh Rong Sanloem.  There is far too much that happened to write (or remember) it all, but the abridged version is lots of beach time, hammock time, boat trips, kayaking, snorkeling, sunsets, and a full moon party.

If you drew a mustache on your finger you got a free beer.
I thought I'd be funny and do half and half... then I missed
the hour where you could collect your free beer because I
drank too much $0.25 beer leading up to the hour which
resulted in my walking around with half of a mustache
 on my face for an entire evening.  Sometimes I'm not
smart, but it certainly was funny

Island time!

Beach sledding

Seamus and Aidan being their special selves before
kayaking to an island to go snorkeling

Our home for a few days while we chilled on Koh Rong Sanloem.
The bungalows were still under construction so we strung up a
couple hammocks and made ourselves at home.

This picture has a back story.  I was super pumped to go for a middle of
the night swim to check out the bioluminescent plankton.  Shortly after
the sun went down a group of Cambodians gathered in a circle in the shallow
waters one of them beating something with a stick while the others cheered.
Initially, I thought they were beating someone to death.  Scared the crap out of me.
 Then as we watched we realized it wasn't a person, but couldn't figure out
exactly what it was.  We slowly walked up to the crowd to realize they were
killing a sea snake.  Celebrations could be heard close to our bungalow into
the night and any plans I had for a night swim died with that snake.

Ben tried to be sneaky and snap a photo of my
sleeping on a boat using my book as a pillow.
I woke up right as he was taking the photo.
It's another one to add to the series of me
sleeping in random places and random positions.

Floating in the ocean was the perfect end to nearly two years abroad

And just like that my long and unplanned adventure was over.  I was on my way back to Bangkok for a few days before catching a flight home to surprise my family and friends two weeks shy of two years from the day I boarded a plane while bawling hysterically in fear of all the unknowns.  What I learned on this trip was the unknowns reveal themselves eventually and when they finally do they're not really all that scary.  Heartache comes in many different forms and, though it is terrible and overwhelming and depressing and all the other bad feels in the moment, it gets better moment by moment, day by day until one day you wake up and realize you are strong and capable of anything.  This moment of empowerment is liberating.  And in that liberation you have a chance to recreate yourself which is exactly what I did.  Returning home was strange.  The ghost of who I was before remained, but I was no longer that person and never would be again. 

To the many connections I made along the way, you've changed my life in profound ways.  You shared your time, your conversations, your help, your food, your homes, and your stories with me.   And for that, I thank you!