I’ve been known to talk in my sleep and occasionally I even go
for a stroll and do silly things like collect picture frames from around the
house, have a snack, or curl up on the bathroom rug only to wake up wondering
why I soberly chose to sleep on the bathroom floor. Unfortunately for Belinda, she got to experience my sleeping
habits first hand. Let me preface
this story with a few crucial details.
Their house is surrounded by a chain link fence that has barbed wire at
the top and the entrance/exit is locked with a pad lock each night. When people do come to the house they
either tap on the fence with a key making a loud noise or yell “Doctor,
Belinda, Doctor, Belinda” from the gate until one of them comes out. Now, onto the story. About 2am one night I wake to Belinda
yelling “Name belong you?” about 7 octaves higher than her normal voice and
then it registers someone’s knocking on the door which is why she’s asking in Pigin
who’s there. Then, it dawns on me
that I’m sitting up in bed knocking on the wall. With Belinda continuing to ask “Name belong you?” in a
panicked voice I, still half asleep, realize I need to tell her it’s me. It took me a moment to consider how to
tell her it’s me so she stops freaking out but I can’t stop knocking because
that would require doing two things at once, which was impossible in my
half-conscious stupor. I can’t
just yell “it’s me” because that means nothing and she still wont know who it
is so I decided on “It’s me, Tawny.”
Belinda thought I was offering to answer the door making her even more
panicked. At this point I’ve
informed her I’m the one knocking and can now direct my focus toward stopping
my hand from pounding on the wall.
I then clarify I’m the one knocking and no one has breached the secure
premises and we’re all safe. Since
then, “Name belong you?” has become a running joke and I can’t ask anyone what
their name is without hearing Belinda in a very high pitched, alarmed tone ask
“Name belong you?” Melanie was
fortunate enough to sleep through all of this. Lucky lady.
Belinda, with the help of Melanie, got me back. Well, after their little prank I’m
calling it even. Both girls were
outside with the pig watching it run around the yard and I was in the house
keeping busy. I didn’t realize
they’d come inside until I heard them calling me to come into the
bathroom. For whatever reason I
thought they’d brought the pig in side and it was in the bath. A weird thing to think, I know, but for
whatever reason I the 2 seconds I had to think about it that was the reason I
came up with to explain why they were both in the bathroom and asking me to
join. I walk in and look at the
tub. No pig. Then, on the outside of the tub I see a
GIANT spider. By far the largest
spider I have ever seen in my life.
Of course, whist piddling my pants, I screamed in terror and when
Belinda pushed me an inch closer to the spider I screamed some more and then
bolted out of the bathroom as fast as I could while they both laughed
hysterically. They then left the
bathroom and went on to start cooking dinner WITHOUT REMOVING THE SPIDER as
though there weren’t still a giant freaking spider still on the bath tub. Like any sane person I freaked out
about this and begged them to kill it or at the very least take the spider
outside. Belinda refused to touch
it and Melanie said the spider was fine and would find it’s way out… uhhh, yeah,
after devouring half of my foot in my sleep I’m sure it would let itself
out! The thought of sleeping in
the bedroom across the hall from the bathroom where the spider was or anywhere
in the house knowing there was a massive spider lurking about calling all it’s homies
inviting them to come feast was enough to make me assume the fetal position and
start bawling my eyes out. Ok, so
that’s a little dramatic. I did
not assume the fetal position because when I considered it all I could think
about was the spider sneaking up on me and having a snack. I did, however, start bawling my eyes
out. Irrational, I know, but some
thing you just can’t be controlled and my irrational fear of spiders is one of
them. I attribute it to my parents
allowing me to watch “Arachnophobia” as a small child (point mom and dad). That’s one of those things you can
never come back from. After a
good, long laugh Melanie removed the spider and freed it in the backyard while
I remained locked in my room to ensure no funny business with the captured
spider occurred. Not sure if you
could tell, but I’m not so much a fan of the arachnids, not in the least bit. At this point I felt I still owed
Belinda a good scare, but I was willing to agree to a truce.
 |
| It only has 7 legs... my mom pointed that out to me |
 |
| A 20 Kina note is the same size as a dollar bill... just so you know exactly how big this beast was |
I stuck to my truce, however, the universe conspired against
Belinda by means of a terrified gecko.
The cat proudly came into the house to show off the lizard she’d just
caught. Of course, her 2 moms and
auntie were not so proud of this.
Once the cat realized she was about to lose her prize she darted off
down the hall and into Belinda’s room.
I grabbed the kitty and freed the gecko, which then proceeded to find a
hiding spot in Belinda’s room in hopes of evading the cat. Belinda used a cloth to pick up the
gecko and carefully took it outside.
When she attempted to free the gecko onto the banister it jumped onto
her and ran up her shirt toward her face causing a shreek that was similar to
the one that escape me when I saw the spider. This sent me into a fit of laughter and I of course,
reenacted the event and laughed some more before picking up the gecko and putting it in the yard. I feel
like we’re even now.
I also had another scare that came in the form of an
earthquake. I have never
experienced an earthquake before.
I was sitting in the house on my computer when the entire house started
shaking. I thought this to be
quite curious so I walked out into the front yard and inquired about the
shaking house. Melanie and Belinda
both informed me it was an earthquake (I’m a little slow at time) and not to go
back inside.
And there you have it, I lived through my own attack on the
house I was staying in, a giant spider, and an earthquake. It’s pretty dangerous stuff here in PNG
but I like to live life on the wild side.
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